by Steve Adubato, PhD

Communicating with children, particularly our own, about September 11 has not been easy. Most of us are unclear about how much or how often we should bring the issue up. Should we bring the issue up at all? Should we wait for our kids to raise the topic? What if they don't? A large percentage of children have experienced significant emotional problems since September 11. How honest should we be about terrorism in general and our own fear in particular? Could it happen again? So many questions, so few answers.

by Steve Adubato, PhD

Q: You argued recently that Giant's rookie Jeremy Shockey should do a better job communicating with the media. You also said if you are honest with the media, they will give you a fair shot. But the media frequently takes things out of context, it's one of their favorite ploys. Isn't taking things out of context a form of deliberate lying? How should people who have to communicate with the media avoid having their words twisted?

A: We agree that the media--newspapers included--sometimes "take things out of context." But that's not the issue. Most people who have problems communicating effectively through this medium are not disciplined enough. One of the biggest reasons people get upset when they see themselves quoted in print or as part of a television or radio news story is because they rambled on and on without a clear, concise, focused message. Consider this example:

by Steve Adubato, PhD

We've all been trying to make sense of this most recent wave of corporate executives acting badly. The President and Congress can do all they want to change certain laws regarding what corporations are required to report, but ultimately much of this corporate ethics problem comes down to leadership or the lack-there-of. What causes corporate executives to be to be less than honest, likely to blame others, unwilling to listen to "bad news" from those who work for them and ultimately to be insensitive to the pain we've caused to innocent people?

Last week, in the Ledger's Op-Ed section, an article contributed by Washington Post reporter Paul Farhi explored why it is that women in corporate America appear more likely to be "whistle blowers" exposing bad corporate behavior. Is there something inherently different about how men and women manage and lead in difficult situations? In general, are women basically more honest than men? Are they more comfortable with criticism and do they empathize more with those who have been hurt by corporate greed and/or misbehavior?

by Steve Adubato, PhD

Martha Stewart is quickly becoming the poster child for how not to communicate in a crisis. Stewart who has made a reputation for herself as always knowing the right thing to say or how to act at a dinner party (be it your own or someone else's) is clearly clueless about how to communicate in connection with her stock scandal controversy.

I don't know what Martha Stewart did or didn't do in connection with her selling ImClone stock the day before the company stock tanked. I don't know if she had insider information that she swears she didn't have. All I know is that she looks and sounds awfully uncomfortable when talking about this whole mess.

by Steve Adubato, PhD

There are a lot of denials in the headlines. Congressman Gary Condit is denying that he had anything to do with Chandra Levy's disappearance. Before that, he said he "never" was romantically involved with her. Lizzie Grubman, a New York PR executive, is denying that she intentionally drove her SUV into a crowd of people at a Long Island night club injuring 16 people.

Did Gary Condit have anything to do with Chandra Levy's disappearance? Did Lizzie Grubman intentionally drive her car into that crowd? Who knows for sure, yet clearly the majority of people believe that either or both of these current media targets are communicating in a less than candid fashion. In virtually every situation I have found that up front, honest and direct communication is usually the most effective approach. It clears the air and allows you to move on even if there is some pain in the process. This is not only true in high profile media cases but also in our every day professional and personal lives.