by Steve Adubato, PhD

Consider the following scenario and ask yourself why some people in business are so reluctant to simply apologize and take responsibility when things go wrong.

My friend Jim recently promised his 7-year-old son Nick that he would get him a hot new video game called NBA 2K10 for his birthday. The kid was so excited. He kept talking about it until finally Jim called a local video game store, where he was a regular customer.

Jim asked the store manager Michelle the following question; “My son is looking for the NBA 2K10 game that we heard just came out. Do you have it?” Michelle responded; “Yes, we just got it in.” Jim then asked; “Can you put one aside or reserve one for us?” Michelle politely said, “Our store policy is that we don’t reserve any merchandise, but we have more than enough.”

Jim smiled and said, “Great, we’ll be up around 4 p.m.” Yet, as usual, in these seemingly simple communication scenarios, things don’t always work out as planned. Simply put, the message sent, as clear as you think it may be, is not received as you intended it.

Excitedly, Jim picked up his son after school and they shot right up to the video store. When they walked in, Michelle was not there, but an associate named Bob was. The dad asked for NBA 2K10 for the Wii and Bob went to look for it. A couple minutes later he came back and said; “We actually don’t have that in stock.”

Young Nick’s face dropped while his dad was perplexed; “But I called earlier today and spoke to your manager Michelle and she told me that you had many copies in stock.” The employee responded, “Really? There must be some confusion.” Finally, the exasperated dad asked if Bob can get Michelle on the phone.

Reluctantly, Bob called Michelle. They were going back and forth and finally, the employee said to Jim; “Did you tell Michelle that you were looking for the NBA 2K10 for the Wii?” Jim said; “You’re kidding me, right? How would I know which system to ask for if Michelle said ‘we have more than enough’ in stock?” Irritated, Bob responded; “It was your responsibility to say you wanted the Wii version. We have it in stock for other gaming systems, but not for the Wii. How did WE know what you were looking for?”

Angrily, Jim walked out of the store with his disappointed son. He later went online and ordered the new game and vowed never to go back to the video store again. Further, he has told other parents this story, which clearly has not helped the image and brand of the store.

You know what’s missing in all this? A simple apology. That’s all Jim was looking for. Of course he wanted the game, but he’d take an apology in that moment. One of the first rules of communication and customer relations is when in doubt, take full responsibility for the situation. Don’t put it back on the customer. Don’t quibble over who should have said what. Don’t point fingers. These are exactly the things that both the manager and the employee did in this case. Technically, they may be right. Jim could have been more precise in his communication. His mistake was that he assumed when Michelle said; “We have more than enough” of the NBA 2K10 game in stock, that if she didn’t have the Wii version, she would have told him. That sounds reasonable, right?

If you are looking to build relationships, you should apologize quickly, take full responsibility, offer to rectify the situation and do it with a smile. This approach should be employed in any circumstance, but especially given the severe economic downturn and difficult challenges facing small businesses today. Some people just don’t get it.