by Steve Adubato, PhD

I was conducting a seminar last week with a group of financial advisors who were trying to increase their sales and build relationships with existing clients. The seminar participants were doing mock presentations in which they were talking about new products and services to perspective clients.

Most of the participants knew the material well. What many of them missed was the importance of how they look and felt like in their presentations. Jim has been a financial advisor for over a decade and has studied all the latest financial models. Simply put he knows his stuff. But as soon as he got up to present it became clear he had problems communications and connecting with his audience.

Jim stands 6’ 4” tall but he presented as if he was 5’ 6”. His shoulders were hunched over, which had a negative impact on his ability to project his voice in a strong confident way. He not only carried himself small but he came across as weak, lacking the confidence and strength of anyone looking for his advise with their hard earned money.

Even though only eight participants were playing the role of perspective investors, Jim had a very hard time looking at them directly. In fact, he looked over their heads. His eyes wondered and when he got especially nervous he looked down at his notes, which meant he was talking into the table. I stopped Jim one minute into his presentation and asked the other participants to offer a one word description on how they’re feeling during Jim’s presentation. Unfortunately, here’s what they said: “weak,” “uninspiring,” “mechanical,” and “disengaged.” The worst comment of all was “I just don’t feel Jim is talking to me, he could be making this presentation to anyone.”

Needless to say, Jim didn’t like what he heard. It’s difficult to get such candid and painful feedback but he’s 37 years old and never had the opportunity to have a practical communication focus group, like this one, tell him directly their impression of him. He had been communicating this way for years, “going through the numbers” hunched over, eyes wondering, and without any command of the situation or frankly, of himself.

So we started over, and forced Jim to stand tall put his shoulders back, which was uncomfortable. At first, we insisted that he look directly at each individual and talk to them – using their first name:: “Mary, I know you’re looking to send your kids to college, and we have a terrific program that will help you do that”…”Bob, I know you’re concerned about your 401K plan, and there are some very specific things we can do over the next year to give you a greater sense of security.” Simply put, Jim needed to find a new, more effective and engaging way to communicate because the old way just wasn’t getting it done.

After the third go around, pushing Jim outside his “communication comfort zone,” he began to see the positive reaction in his audience had as he stood up straight and looked them in the eye (addressing their concerns).They were more interested in what he had to say, which gave Jim more confidence that he was on the right page.

It’s been two months and Jim has been is working on his new “communication style” and the results are quite positive. Still he has a long way to go but is on the right track. This never would have happened if Jim wasn’t willing to take a cold hard look at his approach to presenting. What you say is important but how you say it is at least as important if not more.

Your body speaks volumes, if you’re 6’4” or 5’ 4” be tall and proud. It’s what I call having “executive presence.” Of course, it’s difficult looking at audience members at first, but it’s not impossible. It takes persistence and determination. It takes getting past the initial discomfort. Like anything else, the more you do it the more natural it becomes.

As 2009 comes to a close, its time for all of us to do a serious communication inventory. But you can’t do it alone. Next week, I’m going to offer a specific set of questions to ask yourself, and others around you that will paint a much clearer picture of how you’re communicating and how others receive it.