by Steve Adubato, PhD

It has been said that feedback is a valuable gift, but only if you are prepared and willing to receive it. How do you receive feedback? How do you solicit it? There is more of an art to this vital communication process than you might think.

With this in mind consider a few concrete tips and tools:

• Be very specific regarding exactly what kind of feedback you are looking for. Many people will complain about a work situation to a colleague or friend in the following fashion; “Jim, I’m really unhappy with my boss. He comes on so strong at times. I’m not sure what to do. What do you think?” What do you think about what?! The question “what do you think?” can be interpreted in so many ways. Be more specific; “My boss is coming on strong. I am so frustrated and unhappy and thinking of leaving. What are the odds that I can find a comparable position in the current marketplace?”

• Don’t ask for feedback if you REALLY don’t want it. Some people ask for advice when what they want is nothing more than confirmation of what they already believe. Consider this; Joe says, “I think Mary is doing a great job running the sales division. Don’t you agree, Bob?” Bob responds, “I’m not so sure. Her people don’t seem happy and the numbers are behind where we were last year at this time. I think we can do better.” Here’s where things get dicey. Joe, visibly angry, declares, “Are you nuts? Mary is the best sales manager we’ve had in years. I can’t believe you don’t agree with me.” Now you’ve got a prescription for a counterproductive workplace argument. The problem is that Joe was looking for Jim to confirm his view of Mary’s performance instead of getting genuine feedback. So don’t ask if all you really want to do is tell.

• Even if you don’t like the person giving you feedback, don’t ignore the potential value of the information he or she provides. The adage “consider the source” is tricky. On one hand, of course the credibility and reputation of the messenger is important, but there are too many situations where the expression “consider the source” is used to ignore valuable feedback simply because of some past workplace disagreement or issue. When professionals do this, they only hurt themselves and the organization.

• Even if you don’t fully agree or understand the feedback being provided, it is critical that you acknowledge it, and in some cases, encourage more. For example; “That’s an interesting approach you have suggested. I hadn’t considered it. How exactly would it work in this particular situation?”

• You can reject feedback, but do it in a respectful and constructive fashion. If someone recommends that you revise a proposal that you feel very strongly about, consider this response; “Jack, I really appreciate your feedback, but I have to tell you, I’m convinced we’ve got a winner here, so I am going to stick with it.”

• Be selective. Don’t ask someone without financial experience to look at your budget and give you feedback. Who is the best person to give the most valuable feedback given the situation? Too many professionals have a habit of asking everyone around them for feedback. The problem here is that no one feels particularly important. Further, you will get inundated with so many opinions, which has the potential of frustrating you.

How do you solicit feedback in the workplace? How valuable has it been? Write to me.