by Steve Adubato, PhD

Being a great leader is largely about being a coach and mentor, yet much of coaching and mentoring comes down to knowing how to giving constructive feedback to team members. So what is the best way to give feedback without being seen as simply criticizing or chastising?

When giving feedback, be as specific as possible. An example might be; "Mary, you did a great job on the Jones report. Let's take it a step further. I noticed that you didn't go into great detail on what you think our options are. Next time, make concrete recommendations that evaluate the costs and the risks." The key is to give people information that they can do something with. Conversely, if you say; "Way to go on the Jones report, Mary." That's okay to a point, but sooner or later Mary needs to know exactly what she needs to do to improve her performance and contribute to the team in a more productive fashion.
Avoid judgmental comments. For example, "Mary, you need to be more enthusiastic about working here. Your casual attitude is starting to effect your work." First of all, what exactly does 'enthusiastic' mean? That's a very subjective word. Further, how exactly is Mary's lack of enthusiasm effecting her work performance? The problem is that the leader/coach has said nothing that Mary can use to improve her performance. Further, such "you need to…" statements cause many people to become unnecessarily defensive.
Give feedback face to face. Sure, e-mail, faxes and phone messages can supplement your coaching efforts, but the most powerful and effective feedback is usually in person. You can read the body language and attempt to interpret their reaction to your feedback. It's hard to do that when you are communicating via technology.
Go out of your way to catch people doing things right as opposed to catching them doing things wrong. People often think coaching is about saying "don't do this" or "why did you do this?" A more constructive approach is to recognize and acknowledge positive work efforts thereby reinforcing them. For example, "Jim, I want you to know that I really like the way you handled the Jones project. You were calm and reasonable when some others might have over reacted. Good job."
Keep a positive attitude. If someone on your team is falling behind or has missed a deadline, you might ask, "What obstacles or issues are getting in the way of you meeting the goals we agreed on?" The key here is to frame the feedback in a positive fashion as opposed to assigning blame or fault.
Give feedback as quickly as you can. Too often, leaders and managers wait too long to talk to an employee about something they are concerned about. The problem is that the your feedback is often lost. This is particularly true when trying to give positive feedback. Recognize people's efforts immediately. However, according to Marty Brounstein, the author of "Coaching and Mentoring for Dummies", "when giving negative feedback you may want to apply a different timeline; ASAR (As Soon As Reasonable/Ready-when you're ready)." According to Brounstein, there are times when incidents happen that leaders need some time to cool off and get their thoughts together before dealing with the situation.
Finally, when giving feedback, work hard at being a great listener. When you ask a team member a question, give them the respect of listening and thinking about his or her response. Great coaches are great listeners.
Question of the week. If you are currently coaching or mentoring someone in your workplace, write to me about any tips, tools or techniques you use to have a positive impact on that person's performance.