by Steve Adubato, PhD

A perfect game in baseball is sort of like perfect communication. It’s pretty rare and extremely hard to accomplish. Ironically, there have been a couple of perfect games in baseball this year, which is an anomaly, but don’t get used to it. For like the game of communication, mistakes and errors are a lot more common and have to be corrected if we are to ever get on the same page in the world of business and in our personal lives.

I am a huge advocate of quickly and emphatically stepping up and simply saying, “I screwed up.” That’s exactly what happened this past week when longtime veteran and respected umpire Jim Joyce blew a perfect game bid by Tigers’ pitcher Armando Galarraga, with 2 outs in the bottom of the 9th. This column has nothing to do with baseball, umpiring or pitching, but everything to do with communication, leadership and human interaction.

Galarraga was one pitch away—one call away—from achieving baseball immortality. These opportunities don’t come along very often. In fact, with most pitchers, they never come along at all. There was a close call at first base. Umpire Jim Joyce called the runner safe but, as most baseball fans saw in an instant replay, the runner, Jason Donald, was out. Tigers’ fans and Galarraga’s teammates were in shock. No one could believe that Joyce had taken away the pitcher’s opportunity to achieve a perfect game by making such a bad call. Galarraga got the next guy out and his team won 3-0, but he’s credited with a one hitter and not a perfect game.

But, here’s where it gets interesting. Immediately after seeing the replay, Jim Joyce showed character and integrity. He said to the press; “I just cost that kid a perfect game…I thought (Donald) beat the throw. I was convinced he beat the throw, until I saw the replay…It was the biggest call of my career and I kicked the (expletive) out of it.”

But it wasn’t just what Jim Joyce communicated to the press that is an example for the rest of us. He sought out Galarraga and apologized directly and profusely. He explained what he saw, and made it clear that he was wrong. He was genuinely sorry for what he did. There were no publicists, no image advisors; Joyce didn’t call in the umpires’ union to protect him. He took it on himself.

Galarraga’s response was just as classy. He told the press, “Nobody’s perfect. Everybody's human. I give a lot of credit to that guy, saying, ‘I need to talk to you.’ and really say ‘I’m sorry’…You never see that happen. He apologized and he feels really bad…I gave him a couple of hugs. There will be a couple more (chances), I hope.”

So there it is. A textbook example of how we should communicate when we screw up. Our natural instinct is to defend and to talk about “extenuating circumstances.” We make up all kinds of excuses and blame something or someone else. It never works. But, umpire Jim Joyce showed us all how to communicate when your back is against the wall, because you alone made a big mistake.

What about the rest of us? What should we be admitting to right now? What mistake have you made at work or at home and are refusing to own up to? If Jim Joyce can tell Armando Galarraga that he alone is responsible for blowing his perfect game, can’t the rest of us communicate with just a little more candor and humility and say “my bad” and apologize directly? I know I can. And, by the end of today, I will have something else to apologize for. When it comes to the communication game, all of us are just works in progress.