Coach Paul Deceglie…Communication All-Star by Steve Adubato, Ph.D.

Sometimes, even when you “lose” you can learn some powerful life lessons.  Consider the case of the Toms River National all-star team, which was eliminated this past week from the Little League World Series Championship.  This column is about the impact that one exceptional communicator can have on the lives of very impressionable kids who are in the midst of a stressful, pressure-packed situation. 

As I was watching last Saturday’s game between Toms River and Hamilton, Ohio, the score was 8-0 in the 1st inning, and Toms River hadn’t recorded a single out.  At that moment, Toms River Coach Paul Deceglie walked to the mound, got down to eye level to his dejected and clearly upset pitcher Joey Rose and said; “Joey, I think I’m going to make a change.  Are you okay with that?  How do you feel?”  He then called for a new pitcher and told Joey to play left field, but before he sent him out, he put his arm around him and leaned in saying; “Joey, we need you…we’re only down by 8 runs…let’s keep a positive attitude.”

That was the first of several instances in which Coach Deceglie demonstrated exceptional communication and leadership that serves as a standard of excellence for all of us.  At the end of that half inning, before the Toms River kids were getting up to bat, the coach said; “The bad news is we are down by 8 runs…the good news is we haven’t batted yet.”  Then, one of the kids said; “Plus, we have new bats,” to which the coach laughed and said, “That’s right, we do have new bats.”  He made it clear to his team that he believed in his kids and within a few minutes Joey Rose got up with two runners on and hit a three-run homerun.  As he was rounding 3rd base, the Coach Deceglie said; “Way to go, kid.  Way to go.”

You see, at this critical moment the coach and his kids could have folded, they could have been frustrated and disappointed, but because of Coach Deceglie’s attitude and his positive, upbeat communication, he had these kids believing in themselves in spite of the lopsided score.  They got the score to 9-6 and ultimately lost 16-6.  Losing hurts, no doubt, but by leading and communicating in this fashion, Paul Deceglie taught these kids some life lessons that they will use not just in baseball, but in business and in dealing with other people.

According to former baseball great Nomar Garciaparra who was broadcasting the game for ESPN; “Coach Deceglie is empowering his team…I’ve been so impressed by his manner and presence…he’s just so positive.” 

Finally, in the bottom of the 6th (which is the final inning in little league baseball) with his team down 16-6, Coach Deceglie told one particularly dejected player; “It’s all right, buddy…let’s go out there and give our fans something to cheer about…we came here to have fun.”

So there you have it.  Whether you are talking about 11 or 12 year olds playing in an important little league game or a critical sales presentation in which everyone on your business team has to be at their best, remember, if you are the team leader—in fact the “coach” of the operation—the way you communicate sends a powerful message to everyone around you.  It influences their attitude and demeanor—not to mention their performance.  (The Toms River team had come from behind in countless games before getting eliminated.) 

Steve Adubato coaches and speaks on communication and leadership and is author of the new book "What Were They Thinking? Crisis Communication: The Good, the Bad and the Totally Clueless" (Rutgers University Press). Write to him at The Star-Ledger, 1 Star-Ledger Plaza, Newark, NJ 07102, or click here to contact him through this web site.