Summer Mailbag by Steve Adubato, Ph.D.

As more and more New Jerseyans head down the shore, it is time once again to empty out the summer mailbag.  Here goes: 

Q:  My director's micromanaging greatly effects our department.  She makes daily telephone calls asking; “What are you doing?”  She constantly threatens to increase the daily quotas, but then puts obstacles in your way so they are difficult to attain and then blames you when the results she desires aren't accomplished.  She allows no talking in the main department and walks around barking; “Everyone get to work and stop chit chatting.”  What can my co-workers and I do to cope with this micromanager?   We basically like/love our jobs, but not her micromanaging.  

STEVE:  It continues to amaze me how many people are put into positions of management who clearly lack the temperament and skill set to lead.  This problem of intense micromanaging is not uncommon.  Many managers believe that they can't trust their people to get the job done, so they hover and over communicate.  They create unnecessary rules and policies that have nothing to do with productivity and effectiveness and everything to do with the perception that they are keeping control.  What is really needed is better leadership and professional development to help future managers understand what it really takes to move a team forward and while creating a positive, collegial environment.   

Q:  Electronic communication has become part of our professional life.  Nowadays we are communicating almost strictly via e-mail.  Many times I receive e-mail from my associates which are without a formal beginning (Dear or Hello) and ending (Regards or Sincerely).  I work in a huge corporation with over 20,000 employees and am often e-mailed by people I don’t know well with a simple one liner.  Am I old fashioned or reasonable in my expectations that a message needs to have a beginning and an end? 

STEVE:  Here’s the deal.  As we become more immediate in our communication—especially the proliferation of text messaging—more and more of our communication has become informal.  Many don’t differentiate between texting and e-mailing.  It is all just a way of sending and receiving information.  The problem is that degree of informality is perceived by different people to mean different things.  Many of us still like to see our name at the beginning of an e-mail and see the name of the person who sent it at the end.  Others think that’s a waste of time and space.  A simple rule of thumb is with any business related e-mail, it is safer to provide a simple salutation (even if responding to an e-mail) and typing your name in at the end.  You can’t get hurt by doing it; however, if you go in the more informal direction, it can send the wrong signal. 

Q:  I was at a recent networking event for my industry and noticed the rudeness of almost all parties at the event as they looked around the room to see what conversation they were missing.  I spent about 15 minutes watching those in conversation, and many people were talking to others while looking around seeking the “better” connection.  I give and I command full attention for at least a few minutes.  Am I not being fair or has rudeness and almost desperation to connect with others become common networking behavior?

STEVE:  You are 100% right.  I call this “cocktail party eyes”—when the person you are talking to is looking over your shoulder.  It is disrespectful, rude and worst of all, the person doing it doesn’t even realize that they are creating a very negative impression.  It has the potential of adversely effecting any future communication between the parties involved.  Since you can’t do anything about other people doing it, just make sure that when you are at a networking event you make a commitment to focus in on the person you are talking to, not just with your eyes but with your ears and your mind.  That’s what great communicators do.

Dr. Steve Adubato coaches and speaks on the subjects of communication and leadership and is the author of the book "Speak from the Heart." Write to him at The Star-Ledger, 1 Star-Ledger Plaza, Newark, NJ 07102, or click here to contact him through this web site.