The Holidays are a Great Time to Say "Thanks" by Steve Adubato, Ph.D.

So Thanksgiving has come and gone and we are getting heavy into the holiday season. You survived “Black Friday” and will probably be spending more time with family, friends and co-workers at parties and other gatherings. Some of us look forward to this season, while others for a variety of reasons, dread it. Even though you sometimes can’t pick who you share the holidays with, you CAN choose how you communicate as well as your attitude.

One of the most productive and meaningful things you can do at this time of year is to express how much you appreciate those who have been helpful and supportive, both at work and in your personal life. Having gratitude and giving thanks is never out of season. Consider these questions.

Q—Professionally, I’ve identified my most important stakeholders and customers. The problem is I have a list a mile long. How do I actually prioritize my list so that I don’t try to say thank you to everyone at once and drive myself crazy?

A—Between now and the end of the year, make a list of the top ten most important people impacting your business. They can be customers, vendors or even colleagues. The key is to select a number of individuals that is manageable and then determine exactly how you want to communicate your appreciation. If you don’t take this first step, you will be overwhelmed and less likely to take any action.

Q—What is the best way to communicate your “thanks” during the busy holidays?

A—There are many options, but it is essential to customize your communication around the individual. Some people will simply appreciate an e-mail that is personal and makes it clear why you are saying thanks. Others would like a handwritten note on your personal stationary as opposed to business letterhead. Another way to say “thanks” is to simply pick up the phone. If you don’t get the person directly, leave a message on their voicemail letting them know exactly why you called. Yet, some people really look forward to that all important “face time,” which could include either breakfast, lunch or in very special cases, dinner. Just remember, time is an extremely valuable commodity, especially around the holidays, so inviting someone to get together could be seen as a nuisance when you are attempting to communicate a very different message, so be very selective and strategic.

Q—But don’t people already know that I appreciate them and their business?

A—That’s not the point. When we take people and relationships for granted, we communicate that we don’t care all that much, even if it’s not our intent. Very often in relationships, be they at work or at home, customers, colleagues and significant others will complain that they “just don’t feel appreciated.” This proactive holiday communication plan is designed to avoid that outcome, so don’t assume people know how you feel without you saying it, because if you wait too long, you may not get that chance.

Q—Why is it so important to communicate our appreciation during the holidays?

A—At this time of year, many people tend to be more reflective and introspective. It is a time that we take stock and think about the events of the past year, which include the people who have had an impact on us. Further, as the New Year approaches, many people in business are thinking about new opportunities and initiatives. That includes who can help them achieve their organization’s goals. So, the more you can communicate how much you appreciate your customers, their business and your relationship, the better positioned you will be to grow together in 2008.

Dr. Steve Adubato coaches and speaks on the subjects of communication and leadership and is the author of the book "Speak from the Heart." Write to him at The Star-Ledger, 1 Star-Ledger Plaza, Newark, NJ 07102, or click here to contact him through this web site.