Cleaning Out the Fall Mailbag by Steve Adubato, Ph.D.

As fall is officially kicks off and we are cleaning leaves from our lawns, it’s a great time to also clean out the communication mailbag.

Q—With a recent promotion, I have inherited a difficult employee who does not work well within our group. I was given the green light to work on getting her out the door, and then gave her an honest job review. She has given a “rebuttal” using the word “discriminate” quite often (she is in her mid 50s) which is smearing my name as a manger and has left me very concerned as to how to continue working with her. Any advice?

A—Don’t get trapped. Your communication must stay focused on her job performance. Even if the employee genuinely feels that she is being “discriminated” against, avoid fighting that battle. You can’t win it. People’s perception in many cases is their reality. Many managers in your position make the mistake by saying things like, “We are not discriminating against you…” and then go on to talk about the company’s track record in this area. Avoid repeating the negative while staying focused on the exact performance; “In the areas of XYZ, your performance fell short in the following ways…” If the employee persists on pursuing this argument legally, the company should retain an attorney with expertise in this area.

Q—I work for a disgruntled administrator who is rude, uses profanity and berates the staff constantly…She has taken no part in knowing how the various disciplines function. I am currently at the director level (the 5th in this position in the last year) and have chosen to stay because I see potential in this company and I love my staff. However, the staff cannot tolerate this administrator. I sent a letter to our CEO in the hopes to rectify this situation, but nothing happened. The staff morale is low. Aside from resigning how do I handle this?

A—This is tough. Your goal is to communicate in a direct but diplomatic fashion to several parties. Make it clear to the “disgruntled administrator” exactly what impact her communication style is having on the team’s performance. Be specific but not contentious. Someone like this is unlikely to respond to a generic concern; “Staff morale is low because people don’t like you yelling at them.” Instead try; “Many on the team are turned off to your style and it is impacting their ability to do their job well. For instance, when you called Jane a #@%* idiot, it directly affected her job performance. Here’s how…” She must understand that there are concrete consequences that impact her reputation and position within the organization.

In addition, communicate directly to frustrated team members so that they know you understand the impact this is having on them while making it clear there is no excuse for their job performance to suffer; “I understand that many of you are upset when Barbara said XYZ. We’ll work on that, however, in the meantime as professionals we must stay focused on quality and excellence in everything we do. For example…”

Q—One of my team members needs to dramatically improve his communication style. He is too detailed (long-winded) and focuses way too much on the past. I would like him to be more concise and proactive while focusing on the next set of actions and objectives. Can you recommend any books that could assist him?

A—One of my favorite books on getting to the point quickly is called “How to Get Your Point Across in 30 Seconds or Less” written by Milo Frank. Another is “You Are the Message” by Roger Ailes, current CEO at the FOX News Channel and former communication advisor to President Ronald Reagan.

Dr. Steve Adubato coaches and speaks on the subjects of communication and leadership and is the author of the book "Speak from the Heart." Write to him at The Star-Ledger, 1 Star-Ledger Plaza, Newark, NJ 07102, or click here to contact him through this web site.