Communication Resolutions for 2006 by Steve Adubato, Ph.D.

It’s time to consider some communication resolutions for the New Year—the kind of resolutions that help us connect in a more personal and productive fashion with those we work and live with. Just as we make resolutions to eat healthier or get in better physical condition, resolving to improve our communication skills is a key to our overall success and happiness.

Q—What are the most common communication mistakes most of us were likely to have made in the past year?

A—Biggest mistake? We assume we communicate more effectively than we actually do. We also get upset and blame others for our inability to communicate in a clear and compelling fashion. We interrupt others, ramble, use jargon, hold meetings that go on forever and have no point and hide behind technology when communicating (particularly with e-mail and PowerPoint). And instead of trying to connect with people in a more personal fashion through empathy and understanding, we dump reams of data on them in an effort to show off how much we know. Beyond these and other communication faux pas we are simply not aware enough of our communication and its impact on others.

Q—Okay, since most New Year’s resolutions are broken or forgotten pretty quickly, what are some basic resolutions that most people can realistically accomplish?

A—When it comes to communicating, you never get to the finish line. The game is never over. We are always looking to improve our communication. So in 2006, resolve to:

--Become a more engaged listener. The first time you find yourself wandering or distracted when someone else is talking, decide to concentrate and really try to understand what is being said.

--Get to the point faster. Try to make your point in 30 seconds or less. If you feel yourself rambling say; “so the point is…” This will force you to come to the point faster.

--Try not to play the “blame game” in the New Year. Even if you think you are right and someone else has made a mistake, realize that as soon as you point the finger of blame, your communication is likely to spiral downward with this person.

--Hear yourself using ambiguous and confusing language. Listen for expressions like; “It’s not too expensive,” or “She’s doing pretty well.” If your intent is to be more clear and precise in your communication, the language you use can’t be vague.

Q—What about the more challenging communication resolutions for those of us who already think we are pretty good at the communication game?

A—Be more audience-centered when presenting. It could be in a meeting, a sales call or any speech where you need to persuade and move people. Instead of thinking about how much you want to tell them, ask yourself what is it that this audience really needs and wants to hear?

Further, resolve to hold fewer meetings in 2006. Only hold a meeting if you can’t accomplish what you need to over the phone or via e-mail. Don’t hold that meeting just to hear yourself talk. And if you do hold a meeting, only invite those who really need to be there.

Q—If we only worked on one communication resolution in the New Year, what should it be?

A—Communicate with passion and conviction instead of going through the motions. Really ask yourself why you are saying what you’re saying and what you hope to accomplish. Doing this alone will make you a more effective communicator who is more likely to connect with those who matter at work and at home.

Dr. Steve Adubato coaches and speaks on the subjects of communication and leadership and is the author of the book "Speak from the Heart." Write to him at The Star-Ledger, 1 Star-Ledger Plaza, Newark, NJ 07102, or click here to contact him through this web site.