E-mail Communication Can Be Complicated by Steve Adubato, Ph.D.

Pam Fischer is the VP for Public Affairs for AAA New Jersey Automobile Club in New Jersey. She communicates all the time about transportation and safety related issues. But Pam is a bit frustrated. The question and issue she raises is one all of us in business face. She asks, “What's it going to take to get folks to realize that e-mail isn't the answer to everything? Sometimes a phone call is the better way to go -- it cuts down on e-mails flying back and forth (particularly when you're asked to respond and that response begets another question, etc.). What’s your take on this?”

A—Great question, Pam. No doubt about it, e-mail is a powerful communication tool. It can save time, increase our productivity and allows us to share important information with large numbers of people by clicking a button.

But like any technological advancement, e-mail can also be abused and misused. Often, we use e-mail to avoid direct confrontation. We think it’s “easier” to address a sensitive or pressing issue by sending an e-mail, when in fact, sitting face-to-face with someone is the best way to go. With e-mail, it is hard to pick up nuance. You can’t read someone’s body language or their facial gestures. You can’t hear their voice rise. Communicating effectively is hard enough, and with e-mail the potential for miscommunication and misunderstanding increases dramatically.

The other thing that complicates the e-mail issue is that while some use e-mail to avoid confrontation, others actually think they are doing the right thing. The point is that the communicator’s INTENT is not clear.

With these complicating factors in mind, consider the following tips and tools when communicating via e-mail:

--Before you draft and send an e-mail, ask yourself if this is really the best, most effective way, of interacting with the receiver of your message. If it saves time, that doesn’t make it the best communication mode by itself. It may save you time up front, but cost you a lot of time in trying to undo and clarify what has already been done with your original e-mail. If you can walk down the hall and have a five-minute conversation on a simple, but somewhat sensitive, issue then do it. This has the potential to replace five or ten e-mails back and forth.

--Proximity matters. It’s one thing if you want to communicate with someone in your building or down the hall. But if the person is far away, e-mail may make the most sense. Personally, I like telephone communication, but don’t like playing telephone tag. This is another good reason to use e-mail. If the potential exists to go back and forth leaving telephone messages that can be long-winded and eventually tiresome, then send the e-mail and see what happens.

--Does the other person actually use e-mail? You may think it’s the best way to communicate, but if the receiver is partial to in person and/or telephone communication, then that’s the way to go. It’s not enough that you like e-mail or that it works well for you. When possible, communicate in a form that the other person likes best. You must communicate so as not to be misunderstood. That’s why empathizing with the other person is essential.

--Finally, obsessing over your e-mail can be a way for some people to simply appear busy at work (or at home). Further, as all of us know, e-mail can take you away from what you really should be doing at a particular point in time. So, before you log into your e-mail, check your to-do list and get a head start before you enter cyberspace.

Dr. Steve Adubato coaches and speaks on the subjects of communication and leadership and is the author of the book "Speak from the Heart." Write to him at The Star-Ledger, 1 Star-Ledger Plaza, Newark, NJ 07102, or click here to contact him through this web site.