Communicating Dissatisfaction without Closing the Door by Steve Adubato, Ph.D.

Here’s the deal. You have an employee who has been with your organization for several years. He has been pretty competent, but recently his performance isn’t up to par. More specifically, Jim has been late in submitting three out of his last four projects. Further, he only got them done because you kept pressing him. You don’t want to get rid of him because it would be too costly to bring a new employee in and start from scratch, but something has to be done.

You want to communicate to Jim that his performance is sub par, but you don’t want to de-motivate him. Worse, you don’t want him quitting, because he does have value. You need to have a “coaching conversation” that is direct but not contentious. You need to confront the problem without being personally confrontational. Most important, you want to improve Jim’s effectiveness. Much of this effort will be about what and how you communicate.

--It is essential that you have a clear understanding of Jim’s ability to perform the task. If he does, your goal is to get him to agree that there is some performance problem that exists. Try saying; “Jim, are you aware that you have submitted three important projects in the last month well beyond the agreed upon deadline?” The idea is to not get Jim’s back up against the wall. Provide “neutral feedback.” Instead of saying, “Jim, you’ve submitted three projects in the last month that were late. What’s wrong with you?”, ASK if he is aware so he has the opportunity to respond. If he says, “yes,” follow up with; “Why is that, Jim? What exactly is standing in the way of you meeting these deadlines?” You want to get Jim talking.

--However, an employee’s awareness that something hasn’t been done doesn’t mean he acknowledges that there is a problem or understands the impact it is having on the organization. Your goal is to get him to see that; “Jim, what impact do you think your missing these deadlines is having on Bob in marketing?” If he says, “I don’t really know, I haven’t thought about it,” make it clear that there are consequences and that he is an important part of the team. “Well, Bob really needed your report to put his marketing plan together for the next quarter. Because he didn’t have it, his plan had lots of holes in it. He really needs you, Jim, to get the job done right.” Try to get Jim to say, “Yeah, I see what you’re saying, it is a problem.”

--Then, communicate to get Jim to agree on a specific action; “Jim, I appreciate you acknowledging the problem, but we need to agree on how we are going to address it. What are the three most important projects on your plate?” Let him respond and then ask, “When exactly will you have them completed?”

--Once he verbalizes the commitment, establish exactly what the follow-up is going to be. Don’t wait for Jim to miss the next deadline. Agree on how he will communicate with you between now and the deadline; “Jim, I’d like you to send me an e-mail by XYZ date and tell me where you are on each project.” Finally, ask Jim, “Is there anything else I can do to help you get the job done?”

--When Jim sends you the update, acknowledge and praise his efforts; “Great job, Jim. Stay on track and remember I’m here if you need me.” If Jim’s update communicates some sort of problem, address it immediately.

If you’ve had to communicate with an employee performing under par, or you are an employee who has been on the receiving end of coaching feedback, write to me.

Dr. Steve Adubato coaches and speaks on the subjects of communication and leadership and is the author of the book "Speak from the Heart." Write to him at The Star-Ledger, 1 Star-Ledger Plaza, Newark, NJ 07102, or click here to contact him through this web site.